How To Stay Sane During Divorce

What is the most important fact to keep in mind through the divorce process?

Life goes on. The divorce process just lays out the rules for going forward. At the Timothy J. Hennessy, PLLC, in Williamsville and serving the Buffalo area, we never lose sight of that fact.

Many clients describe divorce as the most destructive event in their lives, one that takes a steep toll on their sense of well-being. There are things you can do, and attitudes you can adopt, to make the process less painful to you. Some of these tips may seem counterintuitive, but you might want to consider them anyway:

1. Don't discuss the matter with the opposing party. It may seem like a good time to reach out, but conversation can undermine your strategy in the divorce — and upset you. You can indicate your willingness to deal with one another later.

2. Don't discuss details of the divorce, or characterize the other parent, with your children. It is very easy, in your own unsettled state of mind, to contaminate the atmosphere and these precious relationships going forward.

3. Don't get clever. If you hide assets from the discovery process, or sign them off to third parties, your scheme will likely be exposed, and you may lose the very assets you sought to keep.

4. Don't transfer accounts, including 401(k) savings — for the same reasons.

5. Prioritize. People who want to win everything in a divorce are often the people most disappointed with the outcome. Know what is absolutely most important to you, and communicate that to your attorney.

6. Keep your eye on the horizon. Divorce is like a restart button on your life. Try to focus less on the drama of the divorce, and more on the fresh start you are about to make.

One last key to "keeping it together" during times of transition is to work with a calm, sympathetic attorney. Timothy Hennessy, of Williamsville, New York, knows the ins and outs of divorce law, and provides sensible guidance through the process, making it easier for you.

To discuss your divorce challenges, schedule a no-charge, no-obligation discussion with divorce lawyer Timothy Hennessy at 716-276-0980, or email him your questions.