Choosing to file for divorce can be a life-altering decision. Divorce filings often occur in response to certain conduct on the part of the other spouse. Someone who discovers that their spouse has cheated may decide to file for divorce due to that infidelity, for example.
People who don’t want to shoulder the blame for the decline of a marriage may wait for their spouses to file. Some couples end up trapped in a cold war where neither feels happy, but they both refuse to take action. Taking the initiative and filing for divorce can actually be beneficial for the filing spouse. What are the positive aspects of initiating the divorce process?
1. Controlling the timing
Some people are truly malicious near the end of a marriage. They may specifically file for divorce on a date that is relevant to their spouse, such as a wedding anniversary.
Other times, one spouse might choose to file at a time when they know the process is likely to be as disruptive as possible for the other spouse, such as when they have a major promotion in the works. People who take the initiative and file for divorce on their own behalf can choose when the process occurs instead of waiting for their spouse to make that decision.
2. Gathering evidence in advance
Proper documentation is critical during divorce negotiations. Spouses may need to secure copies of a variety of financial records and household documents.
People who choose to file can gather their own copies of those records privately without their spouse running interference or destroying any key information. Those who wait for their spouses to file may also end up waiting for them to make financial disclosures.
3. Preparing for a soft landing
When a spouse files for divorce, everything changes abruptly. One person may need to leave the marital home. They may suddenly lose access to joint bank accounts and credit cards.
People who make the decision to file have an opportunity to prepare in advance. They can decide if they intend to move out and where they plan to live. They can open credit cards that are not marital and even establish a separate checking account that they can begin funding after the separation occurs.
Sitting down to discuss the state of a marriage and the possibility of divorce can help people decide if and when to file. The spouse who makes the decision to initiate the divorce process may ultimately feel more in control and less anxious about the end of their marriage.
